


panic and rage

by shewasnotafraid



Category: Blood and Ash Series - Jennifer L. Armentrout
Genre: A kingdom of flesh and fire - Freeform, Angst, Casteel POV, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, From blood and ash, Hurt/Comfort, Jennifer L. Armentrout, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:07:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27586535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewasnotafraid/pseuds/shewasnotafraid
Summary: When Poppy is taken from New Haven right from under Casteel's nose, he will go to any length to get her back.**Casteel POV**All characters and places belong to Jennifer L. Armentrout.
Relationships: Casteel/Poppy, Penellaphe Balfour/Casteel Da'Neer, Poppy Balfour/Casteel Da'Neer, Poppy/Cas, Poppy/Casteel, Poppy/Hawke
Comments: 3
Kudos: 101





	panic and rage

My sword lurched out of the knight in front of me, blood spurting out with it. The knight dropped and I quickly whipped around to face off against the next one. The fighting had been going on for quite some time. Every time I had thought there couldn’t possibly be more, another knight came at me as I took one down. Lord Chaney had brought quite a force with him. 

As I spun around prepared to keep fighting, I realized quickly that the force had finally dwindled, and the enemy had been taken care of. I saw Kieran in his wolven form many paces away finishing off the one he had been dealing with. My heart rate started to calm as I glanced around and spotted my people, battered but alive, one by one. My heart turned heavy as I noticed the few bodies littered around the yard, that were in fact not knights. 

As my heart and mind started to level, I started glancing around hoping I wouldn’t see that beautiful red hair anywhere among those standing in the dwindled fray. I’d known Poppy might not be able to keep out of the fight, so I’d left her her dagger praying to the Gods that if she needed to, she could fight her way out. I hadn’t caught a glance of her while fighting, but that didn’t mean much as I had been overwhelmed most of the time. Not seeing her anywhere, I started to look back toward the tree line that I had left her in. Surely she would have come out by now? As I started toward the last place she had been, I heard Delano call out. 

“The carriage is gone,” he stated in anger. Frustration rose as I realized that Lord Chaney and some of his remaining knights must have taken off during the fight, realizing they were in a losing battle. Rage for the Lord and his Royal Knights simmered as I thought of what they had come here to do, what they had done. They had come for Poppy. They came to kill us all and take her back to cage her and use her. A shudder ran through me as memories rushed through and I then saw Poppy in my own place. 

“Should we try and track them? They know that she’s here with us, they could-”, Naill was cut off as I heard a cry come from near the stables. I started that way swiftly and eventually rounded a building to come face to face with a distraught woman. I quickly realized what I was seeing as I saw the smaller body at her feet. His neck was bent at an unnatural angle and his eyes were wide open and empty. Renfern’s aunt collapsed to her knees beside him and gathered his upper body into her arms. The rage that had been simmering returned in full force as I stared at his body. 

I turned back toward the forest to gather Poppy, or wherever she was, but was stopped dead in my tracks as I heard Kieran speak from behind me. 

“Casteel.” The tone he had sent dread running through my body. I saw the glint of red and shine from the item he held in his hands. I stalked forward so quickly and snatched the blade before Kieran could get another word out. My jaw clenched and I closed my eyes. “No,” I snarled at a volume most likely only Kieran and I could hear. 

Poppy’s wolven dagger. The very item she treasured most. The one I had left in the woods beside her in case she needed it to fight for her life. 

So she had left the forest. She had been here. Right where a boy’s body had been found with a snapped neck. 

I heard someone start to speak from beside me. “She escaped. We have to go aft-,” they started. 

I whipped around and growled out, “She’s been taken! She didn’t leave, she wouldn’t leave this.” Panic started to build up in my chest as an equal amount of rage continued to build. I turned toward Kieran. “Start tracking now. We have to find her.” 

I turned and started sprinting for the stable to get to Setti. She was fine. She had to be. I would not accept any other alternative. I could not. 

As I came riding out of the stable, I saw multiple wolven forms down near the road out of New Haven. They were waiting. They had picked up the scent. Others on horses followed me as I rushed toward the road. The bastards had escaped and taken Poppy right from under my nose. I had naively thought we had driven them back by fear of losing, when they had in fact gathered and escaped with what they had wanted all long. How no one had noticed them leaving with her, how I had not noticed, was causing a ball to form in my throat. The knot in my stomach at the possibilities of what I could find when I found her, if I found her, was growing by the second. 

As we rode hard following the wolven, my despair only grew. How long ago had they left? How far away from us were they already? I assumed they’d have left hastily and maintained that speed in the assumption we could follow. Chaney and his men had all been fighting and injured. An injured Ascended could cause bloodlust...I shook the thought away, for if I didn’t my despair and rage would consume me. 

She had to be fine. 

After a while of hard riding, the wolvens speed picked up slightly. I bore down harder and picked up speed as well. We were getting closer. I picked up the faint noise of hooves and wheels riding hard through the mud maybe a mile up ahead. Hope soared through me, but the tightness in my chest didn’t ease. 

I finally started to make out riders and the shape of a carriage up ahead. None of us slowed our pace as determination slid through our group. As we neared from behind, I saw when the knights began to notice our gain. Some shouting to each other began and two of the knights drew back on their horses to meet us head on. Kieran and Delano quickly overtook them as they lept and pulled them from their horses into a tumble on the ground. I rode Setti harder until I was pulling up along the side of their group riding alongside the carriage. As I neared the front, I urged Setti inwards and tore my sword loose as I headed for the riders up in the lead. The horses pulling the carriage reared and pulled to a screeching stop as the knights surrounding them were engaged in conflict with my own men. 

I sliced my sword in a swift motion across the neck of the first knight I came in contact with. He went down and didn’t move. The rage that had been building was finally boiling over as I let instinct take over. My men and wolven were dwindling the Lord’s forces as we fought in the middle of the road along the forest edge. A knight knocked my sword free and I immediately ripped my dagger from its sheath and ended him with one quick slice. 

I saw the knight from the courtyard approaching me. He would die a painful death for what he had done. For the way he had enjoyed brutally killing my people. I saw a smirk appear on his face as he swung at me. I was in no mood. 

Before he could even see my movement, I slid a grabbed my dropped sword and came up in an arch under him. My sword sliced clean through his front and blood poured out. He dropped his sword in shock as I came up with another slice. I watched as he fell to his knees as his innards began to pour out. Just like he had done. I stood there for a second and watched him breathe roughly. He looked up at me with hatred and fury. I smiled at him then. Without a word, I swung one more time and delivered the blow that ended him. It was not satisfying enough. 

I spun quickly as I heard another coming at me, but Kierans wolven form leapt from the side and clamped viciously onto the knight. They struggled and Kieran threw his body where it landed with a thud atop the carriage. Before I could move to take anymore out, I heard commotion from the carriage. 

Screaming. The scent of blood began to discreetly fill my nose. 

“No!” I ran toward the doors. I could hear Poppy’s distraught screams now as I neared and my chest felt like it would explode. I knew others were following me, and I heard Kieran shout my name. 

I reached the door and ripped it from the hinges it clung to. My fury was burning. I quickly took in the scene before me. Poppy was a bloody mess on the floor of the carriage and Lord Chaney was on top of her. My rage was so intense it exploded as I ripped him from the carriage. “Keep him alive,” I growled to those behind me. I turned and immediately was frantic as I took in Poppy fully. She held that damn dinner knife in her shaky hand that she kept swinging above her in frantic movements. She was crying out in rage and panic that I hadn't seen from her before. It terrified me. 

I caught her wrist mid swing. “It’s okay. Shh, it’s okay, Poppy. Stop. Look at me.” I said calmly. I had to stay calm for her. She couldn’t see me break down with her. I had to be strong. “Look at me, Princess.” 

Her breath was ragged and I saw her eyes finally focus. Her blood splattered face finally stopped moving as she caught my gaze. “Hawke,” her voice came out relieved and in disbelief. I shuddered as I heard her say my name. Her relief at seeing me made my chest tighten. It was easy to forget everything that had happened when she looked at me and said my name that way. 

“Yeah. Yes. It’s me.” I got out through my relief and tight throat. 

“I...I didn’t go with him. He had a boy, and I-”, she started to express in a panic. 

“I know. I found the wolven dagger by the stables. I knew you wouldn't have left that behind if you’d had a choice,” I was quick to reassure her. I needed to check her for injuries. There was so much blood. I needed to be sure she was okay. I slowly peeled the knife from her hands and placed it aside. “And here I thought I would make this grand entrance, rescuing you. I’m not sure you needed rescuing.” I tried to joke. I felt anything but in a joking mood though. I could tell the smile on my face wasn’t quite reaching my eyes. But I didn’t want to let her see how scared I had actually been, how distraught with the mere thought th-. No. I wouldn’t even think about it. 

Her gaze started to drift toward the knife and I saw her eyes flutter slightly.

“Hey, stay with me,” I coaxed. I began a visual assessment on her. The blood was beginning to dry all over. My gaze caught the darkening area on her jaw where it was obvious she had been hit. More rage began to simmer. My jaw hardened. 

“He hurt you,” I growled out. I had to fight the urge to spin around and kill Chaney myself right then and there. I then started to notice the blood that was most definitely hers and the rest began to dry and crust. Her bottom lip continued to bleed. “You’re bleeding,” I said as I fought my instincts. How had she become so important to me? I could barely breathe seeing her injured this way. Knowing that someone had put their hands on her and hurt her. I smelled it more so then. The distinct smell of her flowing blood. And not a small amount. I zeroed in on her left arm. I quickly grabbed it and peeled the sleeve back. And there it was. A bite. I could tell just with a glance that it was no quick and painless bite. He had wanted it to hurt. And I wanted to hurt him. Severely. 

“Did he bite you anyplace else?” It came out low and clipped. 

“No. It hurt. It felt like a Craven’s bite.” She paused. “It felt nothing like-”, she stopped as a tremor coursed through her. I had to steady my own body. Hearing this, hearing her describe her pain...it was unimaginable. 

“He wanted it to hurt.” I told her plainly after a moment. I needed to get myself together. 

Her head began to fall back and she closed her eyes as she whispered, “Bastard.” I caught her head before it could make contact with the floor of the carriage. I thought I felt a knot. 

A small smile twitched on my lips at her language. The smile faded as it sunk in what Chaney had done. What he could’ve done. My chest tightened once more. 

“He could’ve killed you. You’re only half-Atlantian,” I whispered. I didn’t know if I was telling her or myself. “Bloodlust would’ve consumed him, and he wouldn’t have stopped. There nearly always had to be another vampry with them to get them to stop. And sometimes, that’s not even enough.” 

I closed my eyes. The thoughts were overwhelming and my mind was racing with images of what I could have easily found instead when we had caught up to the carriage. Images of Poppy, cold and lifeless, flashed. It was too much. 

“I didn’t think...I didn’t think you’d be alive when I reached you,” I told her in disbelief. Did she have any idea how much that would have destroyed me? Any inkling to what she had come to mean to me? Anger surged through again. Why had she put herself in that situation? How could she not know I needed her to be safe. 

“Why?” I asked her. She knew what I meant. 

“He had...that boy. I had to do something,” she got out. Her voice sounded heavy and slightly slurred. Something was definitely wrong. I quickly picked her up. I needed to heal her. “It was the only way he’d let the boy go.”

“But he didn’t, He didn’t let that boy go.” I waited for her reply as I turned away from the gaping hole in the carriage where the door once was. She didn’t answer and I looked down to see her eyes close and her head limp. More panic. 

“Poppy,” I shook her. No response. The blood loss mixed with who knew what other injuries must have been worse off than I thought. “Kieran!” I shouted. We needed to get moving. She needed my blood and she needed rest and safety. 

The others were standing around the bloodied body of Lord Chaney, who smirked at me as I got closer to them. “Kieran hold her,” I growled out. He silently came and took Poppy from my arms. I brushed my fingers against her hair before completely letting go. Her steady heartbeat was the only thing that kept me sane. 

“Well look at you all. You really think you can hold on to her? They’re coming for you. We sniffed out your treachery fast. We were right behind you. The King and Qu-”, he started in an arrogant voice. I cut him off quickly. 

“I don’t really give a fuck what your King and Queen are going to do. Don’t give a fuck at all.” It came out clipped. I had no time for games. “How did you know we were there?” I needed answers so I could avoid this in the future. Lord Chaney stayed silent with a smirk. I stalked forward and grabbed him. He struggled to shove me off, but his injuries had taken a lot out of him. Looking down, I noticed the still slightly gaping and somewhat bleeding wound across his chest. I smirked. I jabbed my hand into the wound as hard as I could. A painful hiss came from him. 

“I’ll ask again...how did you know we were in New Haven?” As he glared at me in silence I pressed my hand harder. A gasp of pain came from. 

“Okay, okay!” I slowly relieved some of the pressure. “We ran into that woman heading away from New Haven. I recognized her. She was half-frozen to death. I got the information I needed from her. About the Maiden. About the Dark One. She had a lot to say about you after some persuasion, a lot indeed. You should really watch out for whose husbands you decide to kill,” he gasped out with a bloody smile. I threw him to the ground. He got to his feet quickly. 

“Kill him,” I told the others as I wiped off my hand. “I don’t want to look at him anymore. And I need to help Poppy.” I started to walk toward Kieran still holding her. I heard Elijah say something to Chaney as he approached. I heard the smack of a fist against flesh before I heard Elijah let out a grunt. I spun to see Elijah land on the ground as Chaney smirked before dashing toward the tree line. I shouted but before Elijah or any of the others could start after him, he had disappeared into the darkness. 

“Should we go after him?” Naill asked me from my right. 

“Don’t bother, we don’t have time for this,” I stated. “I need you all with me as we travel back, just in case.” My concern was the unconscious girl the Kieran was slowly transferring back into my arms. We all quickly got back on our horses and I carefully set Poppy in front of me in the saddle, facing me. I needed to see her face and make sure she stayed stable. I wanted to get back to New Haven as fast as possible to assess and heal her. The wolven switched forms and we started back, at a hard and determined pace. As we rode, I whispered to Poppy. It would be okay. Don’t worry, Princess. I’ll fix it. I’ll take away the pain. 

She would have no more scars. 

We finally rode through the gates of New Haven, and I didn’t stop until we reached the Inn. I quickly dismounted and carefully brought Poppy down with me. 

“Don’t worry Princess. We’re back. You’re safe. I’m going to fix it,” I whispered into her hair as I swifty walked inside. I felt Kieran following behind. I walked until I reached my room and laid her along the middle of the bed. She looked so frail and hurt. The dried blood and the purpleing bruises were enough to make my breath catch as I took her in fully once more in the light. I began an inspection of her, finding bruises along her arms and back. She had put up one hell of a fight in that carriage, I knew that much. When I lifted her head slightly, I once again felt that lump along the back under her hair that I felt earlier. It felt bigger this time. 

“Gods dammit. I want to kill him,” I growled out. 

“You’re the one who didn’t want us to waste time going after him,” I heard Kieran spout from behind. 

“I don’t need your comments right now,” I snapped back. I saw him smirk. “Okay, I’m giving her my blood. We can’t risk it. She’s too badly injured,” I said as I began to lift my sleeve. 

“Cas, it’s just a bump on her head. She doesn’t need your blood. She’ll be fine, just let her rest and get cleaned up,” Kieran said from behind me. 

“No. I won’t risk it,” I bit out. “She doesn’t need any more bruises and scars. And we can’t risk the time it would take her to heal. We need to leave immediately.”

I felt the amusement coming from him. “Whatever you say your highness,” he drew out. I shot him a glare. I bit into my forearm and quickly brought it to her lips. She slightly stirred at the touch of blood to her lips. I was prepared to compel her in the next second if she didn’t start drinking, but she quickly latched on and drank in deep pulls. I looked back at Kieran.

“Well that’s a first,” I said lightheartedly, but with slight panic. She must be in so much pain to be so willing. After a few minutes, I slowly pulled her off my arm and wiped her mouth with a cloth. I watched as the dark shaded area of her jaw, and the cut along her lip slowly faded. The tightness in my chest bagan to ease. Her eyes slightly fluttered and she stirred. “Shh. Poppy, it’s okay. Go to sleep. Rest,” I said lowly and urged her mind. She smiled slightly and fell unmoving against the pillow, urged into sleep from my compulsion. I brushed my hand against her hair, moving it out of her face. She looked so peaceful now. So painfully beautiful. My heart clenched. 

“I’ll get Magda. She can clean her up and change her,” Kieran said from behind as he headed toward the door. I snapped out of my daze and noticed the filth of her clothes and the dried blood on her skin. 

“Yeah. Thanks Kieran.” I waited and continued to sit and stare at her until I heard the door open sometime later. I glanced over to see Magda come in with what looked like clean clothes in her hand. 

“Get out of here and go get yourself cleaned up. I’ve got her,” she smiled at me. I hesitated and looked back at Poppy. “Don’t worry. As soon as I’m done I’ll let you back in and you can continue mother hening,” she laughed and shoved me toward the door. I glared at her but let myself be led out of the room. I caught one more glance of red hair strewn across the pillow before the door quietly shut in my face. 

I sighed and ran my hands across my face. I needed to breathe. I needed to relax. She was safe. She was healed. It was fine. I leaned against the door and let my head fall back. 

Fuck. I was in really deep shit with this. My head apparently was finally catching up with where my heart had been for a while it seemed.


End file.
